I shouldn’t be so astonished

Holy cow! Tim is going to HARVARD!

I knew that.

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BIKE!

Cannondale F400 Mountain Bike
This is the bike I’m thinking about getting… for a little more than half of what we sell it for.
I have to check for specifications: disk brakes, front fork suspension (it’s gonna be adjustable), and the right size (proly the smallest frame size available, *sigh*).
I’m excited.

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exposure spectrum

I can kinda start blaming myself for being needy. Right now, it seems like forever, but my reasoning skills are pretty shot. I guess it’s because I came from a time when everyday was normal, but other parties had the opposite. They lacked, they withstood the time in between. Ah, it’s so different. But I don’t really know anything about anything so these are just thoughts flowing through my head. I have no idea of what is right and what is wrong; all I know is what I think, and sometimes I just don’t think straight. I try so hard to pretend to be normal and I try so hard to behave like I know what level-headed means. But I’m just restraining myself from being different… what’s so wrong with being different? Well, it just so happens that in this case being “different” means “stereotypical.” So… I guess my self-restraint can be said as actually being “different” and “level-headed.” Oh, I don’t know. I try. But right now I’m thinking that sometimes I try so hard I seem cold. Cold and uncaring like the absolute opposite of what I’m trying NOT to be. So maybe I go too far, but I don’t know where/when to stop! I need a wall, a fence, a dotted line (or something else visible to these blurred eyes) to show me when enough is ENOUGH and when I’m doing something right. I never know when I’m doing something right. I also lack in cultural training… but I can’t complain– I think I let myself be sheltered for too long, and now I want too much. And we all know too much is never too good. NEVER. It’s always good to have a good balance, and that seems to be the trouble I’m having… where is this balance? When am I going to find it? Will I ever find it? I’m not quite sure of anything in this world, but most of all, I’m not quite sure of myself.

… And I’m rambling again.

[thursday]

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not enough time!

Turns out Lizzie will only be home for 16 days then leaving for France until the middle of September. Holy crap! That’s not enough time! But at least she’s being productive learning French hardcore and spending time with her newlywed sister (who married a Frenchman).

*sigh*
There’s never enough time for anything.

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Ah, yes. Smoke.

I finally did my first bike ride of the season yesterday (I know, it’s a bit late, but I was in Chicago and I’ve had class and lots of work). Not good. It was windy, smokey, and not to mention, I was also out of shape. I haven’t worked out in nearly 4 weeks! Ack! So last night’s ride was a combination of hard-breathing, more resistance than normal, and lack of energy. Not going to do that again anytime soon, BUT I am getting back on that bike tomorrow.

Yay! I have tomorrow off! As a trade-off to have the holiday off, I worked today: a good 6 hours. Tomorrow off, 4 hours on Tuesday, and then another day off. Ah, what a work week. Work is getting ever-so-better, but I still prefer to work on campus. I’m working on that.

New shoes! Vans. Polka dots (and I normally don’t like polka dots). Green, grey, black, white. I can’t see any pattern in the dots. But I like. Very much. Amusing and fun. Oh, and I got a new orange, Roxy skirt from Zumiez, too. I’m finally starting up my skirt collection again.

I went to see The Da Vinci Code tonight by myself. Lonely yes, something I normally don’t do, yes, but there was no one else to do stuff with so I did something with myself. The movie was excellet; I say, by far one of the better book-movies out there. Normally I don’t like movies made from books, but this one had one the important aspects from the book and it didn’t seem like anything was left out (*ahemHARRYPOTTERahem*). I highly recommend everyone to see the movie, even if not in the theatres.

I splurged and got shoes yesterday and today I finally purchased “Give Up” by the Postal Service (now that I have money); I had the copy of it on my iPod for FOREVER and since it is an excellent album, I finally broke down and bought the actual copy. Good buy. I also got the new one from Halifax. So far, not so bad. I can’t complain yet because I’ve listen thru only once so far.

And one more thing: Grandfather’s in the hospital again. At this point, I don’t know what to think, but this isn’t a bad thing.

[halifax]

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my head’s gonna explode.

I’ve decided that after 6 days, it’s still difficult to work at the Bicycle Shop. Only because I know NOTHING about bikes, yet I need to sell them.

I’m a sucky bike-seller.
… and accessories.

My consideration? Continue the effort of finding a job on campus.

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