Twice So.

It’s embarrassing how I’m embarrassed by some of the people I know.
But then again, I’m embarrassing, too.

[kelly paisley]

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I’m Embarrassed.

I’m very bored right now doing nothing.
Ah well, it’s all the same. I get paid a dollar more to do nothing and hide.

[jack's mannequin, jew, jack johnson]

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hungry.

I need food.
I am working.
Ah.

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Plans.

I’ve come to the point in my life where I keep thinking of plans. Making them, forgetting them, keeping them, etc. In the past few weeks I’ve been noticing an increase of plans I make in my head, to myself, then realizing seconds later that they wouldn’t be a possiblity. It’s quite frustrating when I realize that these plans that I sometimes make without notice are impossible. Seriously, impossible. They sound like reasonable plans to anyone, but I know, according to my circumstances, that they could never be. And this is only for plans within the next year! I call these the unconscious ones.

Then there are the potentials, the what-ifs of plans. These are the ones I say “if only” or “one day” in front of. Most of these are made somewhat consciously. They reflect upon how I am feeling at this moment in time, and really, I am quite comfortable enough to think about some of these things for the first time in my life. And be serious about them. It’s a strange feeling, too, to think of these plans and they seem so happy (because I’m happy) and different because I’ve never felt this way about the subject before. These plans are, of course, not ones I would like to embark upon within the next few years, but I do plan around this ballpark in about 10 years’ time. But I still think about these plans and how incredibly happy I would be. It saddens me that chances are so slim. Oh well. Life.

[muse]

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new job!

Library hired me.
But I’m not sure if it’s full time or not yet. I need to check tomorrow.
Hopefully it is and I can ditch the Bike Shop.
Yay.

[early november]

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gurgle.

My father thinks I’m a slut.
My father also thinks I’m thirteen years old.
Since when did Nando equal a slutty 13-year-old?

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