a strange feeling

I had a strange feeling last night while climbing into bed.  Then I suddenly realized what it was:  I had to learn how to sleep alone again on a weekend night.

Huh.  Who would have thought.

It’s strange timing; I guess I’m glad I don’t have the distraction, but at the same time the lack of distraction is distracting.  I never saw this coming.  This is what happens when I do this again; when will I ever learn?!

Also took my NREMT test today.  Terrible.  I swear the test was so stupid it was actually hard to take because of the stupidness.  I think I may have failed.  OH.SHIT.

I’m having a beer, studying for my Addictive Drugs midterm I have Wednesday (currently on my “alcohol” notes, heh) and trying to keep…distracted.

Stupid brain.

…Aaaaand another night by myself in the condo.  No one to share it with.  How pleasant.
‘Cause you know, I don’t have enough ‘me’ time here.

Filed under: Life

pew. pewpewpew.

Rolled off the wrong side of the bed today.  Badness peaked at around noon.  No good.

Studied EMT at dtPeet’s with kBell and felt a bit better.  I think I’m OK with tomorrow’s test.

Lifted and an hour of cardio today.  Felt a lot better.

Now gettin’ ready to go see ‘Up’!  I’m excited.
2nd annual w/kBell and w/out Lop. Mrrrph.

I still feel a little pathetic though.
Ugh, it’s the weekend.

Filed under: Uncategorized

+ hobby: typography

Another to add to the growing list of potential hobbies:

Typography.

More specific to graphic designing, and I think I’m more capable.  The letters look so pretty in my mind.

Filed under: Life

jumberrrlacking.

Well, FUCK.
Back to square one.  I’m apparently really good at this.  (1) I left. (2) & (3) they leave.  Hopefully SF will prove to be a more stable place.  And easier finds.

Goddamn, I love my lumberjacks.
I keep thinking that it is fleeting… but NO.
I’m reminded every time I see the contrasts.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Filed under: Life

I haven’t lived yet.

I feel like I should have accomplished something significant by now, at this age.  But I haven’t.  Revising my resume has made me feel a bit incompetent.  I honestly haven’t done very much in my life so far, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to impact society.  I feel lame.  Maybe I should get on that.  I’m willing to, I just need to graduate first.

Less than 4 weeks!

I’m planning on moving to SF, but that requires a job.  A job that is hard to find.  I’ve realized that you can’t really get a decent job out in the world any more when just an undergraduate degree; nowadays people want those with at least a Master’s which I find a little counter-intuitive.  You need to go to more school, take out more loans, pay more money, just to have a decent job?!  It used to be that having an undergraduate degree was a guarantee to a great job.  Not so much anymore.  How depressing.

And the job hunt continues.

Filed under: Life

and it finally decided to show up.

I am the kind of person that enjoys being in a relationship.  Knowing there is someone who can physically comfort me, bring me cake, study with me, go do random things with.  I love having another to do things for, and someone who would be happy doing silly things for me.  It’s all about the physicality of it all (and I’m not talking about sex here).  Someone who I can just call up and they’ll be here.  Someone I can just go over and surprise and we can just hang out.

Have I been missing out?

2 of my best friends are engaged and will be getting married this summer.

whereas I, I haven’t been in a relationship in two-and-a-half years.
and the 3 of us used to be the ones of all our friends that had significant others.

have I been holding back? have I been too picky? maybe everything.

I miss it.

Filed under: Life, Rant