ok, ok I’ll stop

the Internet makes everything too accessible.
thus, enhances my ADD and lowers my ability to concentrate on studying for my last 2 finals.

I love the company of men.  Not in the “yay penis and sex” kind of way, but more so like “yay slightly less judgmental people and yay less drama shit.”  This is why I have more guy friends than girl friends.  I can also burp, talk about sex, and do stupid things with the male sex more so than my own. Silly.

More and more it bugs me; pet peeve:
incorrect grammer, spelling, and punctuation.  Unless it is purposely an art form, style of writing, etc. (Like e e cummings.)
I hate it when people use “u” instead of “you”, “ur” instead of “your” or “you’re”, etc.  Texting use is understandable…but on the internet when you have full access to a keyboard?! C’MON, PEOPLE.

K, gettin’ back to plants.

I see my mommy tomorrow; commencement in 2 days.
Al.most.Done.

Filed under: Rant

coming to terms

Hi, it’s crazyMe again.  Trying to not annoy myself more than I already have; it’s a difficult task.

I cannot stop to think otherwise, considering what I’ve learned today.  But this could also be because I overthink plenty of situations; many of which are usually absolutely absurd and not very likely (but still a possibility).

If you don’t, then stop continuing the process.  It’s just a tether that no one wants to falsely believe they are on.
If you do, then make an effort.  No one wants to be left hanging.

Sometimes I wish things hadn’t ended on such a high note, with promises of visits and hellos when proximity is close. It also bothers me that this was the first one where a discussion didn’t come as necessary.  Now I’m left just dangling there on somes sort of imaginary/real/transparent thread.

Filed under: Life, Rant

and it finally decided to show up.

I am the kind of person that enjoys being in a relationship.  Knowing there is someone who can physically comfort me, bring me cake, study with me, go do random things with.  I love having another to do things for, and someone who would be happy doing silly things for me.  It’s all about the physicality of it all (and I’m not talking about sex here).  Someone who I can just call up and they’ll be here.  Someone I can just go over and surprise and we can just hang out.

Have I been missing out?

2 of my best friends are engaged and will be getting married this summer.

whereas I, I haven’t been in a relationship in two-and-a-half years.
and the 3 of us used to be the ones of all our friends that had significant others.

have I been holding back? have I been too picky? maybe everything.

I miss it.

Filed under: Life, Rant

why, HELLO, ugly side of the bed!

Went to bed feeling hopeless and frustrated about the philosophy paper.
Didn’t go to bed ’til late; had to finish reading a thing on plants & agrobacteria for discussion today.

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
To my cat whining. Wanting out.
Then in. Then out again.
Then in. FML.
Interrupted sleep is never good. Unless it’s for mind-blowing sex.
(Then it’s definitely worth it.)

Went to class. Fell asleep in one of my favorite lectures.
Went to discussion. Disappointed the TA.
Went to lift wieghts, hoping to feel better.
Nope.
So I skipped water polo and came home.

Now I need to start writing this paper again.

Boo.

Filed under: Rant

+ thing I hate

I hate the fact that I’m very talented at getting myself into these fleeting situations.

Also, I miss the wholesome entirety of a relationship.  Maybe LA, with the meeting of new people, will prove that I’m still capable.

I just want sun.  And to be done.

6 more weeks. I’m halfway there.

Filed under: Rant

a few pieces of brain vomit:

Dear friends getting engaged doesn’t necessarily mean I want to also, but I do miss the lack of warm body.  I’ve been making an emotional mess of myself lately, strangely enough.  If I can’t verbalize drama (hells no I won’t), then I guess I’ll drive myself crazy with other things (apparently Grey’s isn’t filling the quota as of recently).  Being direct and forward while intoxicated DOES have its advantages, as I discovered late last night.  Makes things easier, doesn’t it? I can’t get over the situations I put myself into, and the funny thing is I still always save a little glimmer of hope.  Stoppit. OK, not really a glimmer, more like blinding-light-I’m-trying-to-fall-asleep-to.  Yea, not happening.  I can’t wait to be in LA for Thanksgiving.  Then home for 3 weeks during Christmas, and another week of fun back here.  Spring Break: I’m back in LA just to get outta here.  By then I’ll have only one more slice left of this pie before I skidattle and break for the realzies.  Effin’ jerkin’ my chicken, yo.  I have inherited the awesome “lang-leui” gene from my mother and I’m freakin’ utilizing it now! (much to the expense of my combusting brain.)

I have replaced them with my cat, Tomato (hey, not on purpose, I promise… would I do that???).  For now.  Dear god (ambiguous, thanks), I hope this doesn’t last, as cute and cuddly as she might be.

Filed under: Life, Rant