OK, so it was an irrelevant tag in a silly picture, but STILL.
Fine.
For giving others advice, it’s always perfectly clear. But for myself, I give people the benefit of the doubt, make up excuses, convince myself there’s another reason.
I finally get it. Will anything happen this weekend? I honestly don’t know. Probably not, since the last time seemed a little forced. I mean, one of the party was upset, anxious, or something that wasn’t a positive feeling. That always leaves a bad taste. Also, it was a little awkward during the visit. I think.
Fuck.
At this point I am self-consciously thinking I may be getting desperate. Which is NO GOOD. I am driving myself utterly insane. The beginning of this week started with a few weird and unnecessarily bad dreams. Bad dreams: dreams that are of situations that you wish to be true in real life, then you wake up to realize it’s never going to happen.
I am so AWKWARD.
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…And not so sassy. Ugh, I think 10 lbs need to be lost. Meds and family and free food did NOT help with the continuation. If anything, I think I gained 5. Yikes.
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I’m just wondering…
when is the next time I’ll be lucky again?
The last few months have given me realizations and these are ones I do not like. Now I’m asking for more, expecting too much, but I know it is best when unexpected. Initially unseen, it would bloom nicely.
Maybe moving to the city is the very bestest idea, especially for this type of work.
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Sometimes I wish I could go back to a certain span of time, maybe a night, a day, a few weeks and relive the same moments. I want to compare how I felt towards something then to how I feel now. I think that would be really interesting to experience, how we change over time. Or maybe we change because of what we know over the time period. Right now, to me, it seems like a person (when you first meet them) is very different from the same exact person they are now. You’ve been talking to them in between then and now, but looking back at it, they seem like a whole ‘nother person. Strange.
This is one of the few times I wish I could go back in time. Not to change anything, but to compare emotions… then to now.
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Sweet! Got a ‘B’ on my second philosophy [of mind] paper. Not bad for a last minute deal; I was actually kind of worried.
I just gotta get through these stupid readings (I REALLY shouldn’t have left them to today…) and answer these multiple-choice questions (NOT as easy as it sounds), memorize them, and circle the right answers tomorrow afternoon (shouldn’t take more than 30 mins).
…then I be DONE!
Also got paid for an hour of work today. SWEET.
I’m high rollin’ in just under 10 bucks.
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I like you. And I have no problem with that.
Unexpectedly exceeded “good enough.” Ha.
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